id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
