South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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