she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Randomize
