When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
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