We're facebook friends in real life
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
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