You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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