What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
