Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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