ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Randomize
