We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Randomize
