I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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