Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
