I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
