Where is the hickey?
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
