So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
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