i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
