i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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