I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
jump out the window naked night went bad
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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