i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
MIDGETS
????
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
