thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
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