More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.