Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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