So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
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Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
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Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger