I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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