I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
