Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
