Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
