margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
