her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
