Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Randomize
