Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Threesome in a minivan. New low
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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