if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I have feelings that need drinking.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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