shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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