The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I cannot find my penis.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
