We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I could fuck to npr.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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