he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
