how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Randomize
