Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize