i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I think I have vodka in my lungs
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
