I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
