Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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