We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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