I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
only you would photoshop your dick
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Randomize
