Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I will be naked everywhere
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
