According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
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