I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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