I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
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I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
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Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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