Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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