I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
