the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
