True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
