im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
