Your dad touched me again.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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