Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
