belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
