she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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