Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
