Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
