I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
