There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
