2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
