my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
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