u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
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