Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
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