Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
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She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
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Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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