can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
