i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
