So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
