I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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