And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
