Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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