it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
you made out with another girl for some wings
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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