I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Randomize
