And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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