He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I have aggressive nipples.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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