playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Banned from zoo.
Again?
my sisters under your porch take her home
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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