I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Randomize
