where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
