its not stalking. its research.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
NoShamevember. You game?
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
