He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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