At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Randomize
