Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize