ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
