You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
they're like a gay fantastic four
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
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