Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
