We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
