Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
