Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Randomize
