apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
